Synopsis
‘My Life had stood – a Loaded Gun’ has an emphatic, visceral first line that demands our attention from the outset. The speaker in this poem compares her life to a loaded gun that sits in a corner until the owner noticed it one day. The owner takes this gun out to the woods to hunt deer. When the shots are fired and the speaker carries out the owner’s wishes, they hear the echo in the mountains. The speaker reflects on what would happen if they revealed their true emotions, describing a volcanic eruption – like the volcano Vesuvius. When the day is done, the speaker watches over their master, finding it to be better and more rewarding than sleeping with him. In the last few stanzas, the speaker describes how she is deadly to her master’s foes, with a sharp eye and a trigger-happy thumb. Yet, wearily, she contemplates her own life, noting that she – as an inanimate object – will outlive her master. Though she has the dangerous power to kill, she does not have the one thing that is true for all of humanity – the power to die.
Analysis
‘My Life had stood – a Loaded Gun’ is one of the most ambiguous of Dickinson’s poems, open to many interpretations. One common reading is that it represents the explosive nature of anger. In this instance, the “Loaded Gun” can be interpreted as the speaker, with the “Owner” being the speaker’s own internal rage. In the development of this conceptual distance between the corporeal body, and rage, Dickinson is able to comment on the power of rage and the grasp it has on the human psyche. Anaphora is used quite heavily in this poem, with six of the lines beginning with “And.” This, coupled with the fact that this poem primarily takes a ballad structure, lends it a rather hypnotic, lilting tone. As such, Dickinson highlights the almost mesmeric grasp the “Owner” – being rage – has over this speaker.
This is consolidated through Dickinson’s use of language and the particular phrasing of this gun being “carried away” by the owner. This can be inter- preted as intense emotions overwhelming the speaker, carrying them away. Here, Dickinson paints the transformative power of emotions, particularly rage, highlighting their ability to transform the individual sphere. The imagery of the “Loaded Gun” further serves to imply that without the presence of the “Owner” – in this case, rage – the speaker has no purpose. Thus, Dickinson highlights the significance of passion and fury as vital forces in one’s life.
Towards the end of the poem, the speaker laments that she will likely outlive her owner. She highlights that though she may have “the power to kill,” she lacks “the power to die,” being an inanimate object. It can be argued that here, Dickinson reflects that to live is to experience intense emotions such as rage. The pondering of the eventual death of this rage leaves the speaker feeling sorrowful and melancholic.
Alternatively, this poem can be analysed through a feminist lens as a com- mentary on a domestic relationship where the “Loaded Gun” represents a wife controlled by an authoritative husband, who acts as her “Owner.” The speaker – who likens herself to a gun – exists merely as an accessory for this husband. This is consolidated through the imagery of hunting and the connotations of a predator/prey relationship. Dickinson has deliberately chosen to include a “Doe,” a female deer, as the animal being hunted. A possible interpretation of this is that Dickinson is highlighting the pervasive subjugation of women, particularly during the 19th century where men facilitated the development of a largely androcentric sphere. This is furthered in the speaker’s realisation that “every time I speak for Him / The Mountains straight reply.” Here, her voice is being restrained, simply being echoed back to her in her attempts to speak out. Her message does not reach the outer world and is purely constrained to the domestic sphere. However, since “Him” is capitalised, this could also be interpreted through a religious lens as a reference to God, giving the poem yet another dimension of ambiguity.
In the next stanza, the speaker notes that she prefers to keep a “cordial smile,” rather than develop a “Versuvian face,” highlighting the repression of emotion in the attempts to present a blank, benevolent face to the world. This can be interpreted as a commentary on the social expectations placed on women during the patriarchal 19th century to appear unbothered and often emotionless in all scenarios. The analogy to the “Versuvian” volcano highlights that had she let her true emotions slip past this mask, they would erupt with explosive power, similar to that of a volcanic explosion. The speaker watches over her husband during the night, stating that “Tis’ better than the Eider’s Duck / Deep Pillow – to have shared.” The traditional sleeping arrangements of husband and wife have been subverted here, particularly in the image of “the Eider’s Duck,” which refers to a type of duck that pulls out its own feathers to make its nest. As such, it can be argued that here, Dickinson highlights the unjust societal expectations placed on women to prioritise the comfort of men over themselves.
Links to other peoms by Dickinson
How this poem links to other poems from Dickinson’s collection depends on how it is interpreted. Being rather ambiguous in nature, and open to multiple interpretations, this poem is quite malleable in meaning, making it easier to connect to other poems by Dickinson.
For example, if you interpret ‘My Life had stood – a Loaded Gun’ to be primarily focused on the turbulence of emotion, you could establish many links with ‘Like Rain it sounded till it curved.’ Both poems analyse the ways in which intense emotions have the capacity to overwhelm sensation and transform the individual world. However, while ‘My Life had stood – a Loaded Gun’ fixates on the turbulence of rage, ‘Like Rain it sounded till it curved’ instead explores the significance of faith in changing perception. The intense emotions in this poem strain against the confines of poetry, highlighted in the turbulent pathetic fallacy of the “Wind” and “Wave.” The powerful natural imagery evoked here explores an ambiguous turmoil which struggles against the constraints of language.
